"You should be grateful"

I'm grateful to God for the gift of life in general.

I'm grateful to my real father for jerking off. He was not paid. Donors were not paid in my country at the time.

I'm grateful to my mother for having carried me to term and given birth to me.

I'm grateful to my social father for not having seriously hurt or killed me for not being his.

***

I'm not grateful for being created in such a way that I'll probably never know my real father.

I'm not grateful for being the object and subject of countless lies.

I'm not grateful for the fact that all the adults involved apparently decided for me that I didn't need to know my real father nor he me.

I'm not grateful for everyone apparently deciding for me that my social father was somehow more deserving of the title "father" than my real father and more valuable and better in every respect than the man who actually fathered me, so that half of me should apparently just be gone.

I'm not grateful to the fertility industry for not checking whether the prospective parents had any psychological issues incompatible with being sane parents. Some people should not have children, and in some cases - like my social father's - it seems like nature knew what she was doing when she made him infertile!

I'm not grateful to the fertility industry for not realizing that a social father with narcissistic personality disorder would not only be a very poor candidate for a parent in general, but would also additionally be an appalling candidate for fathering another man's child, which is difficult enough for a normal man!