"You were wanted"

Was I?

Or was a child desired, for whatever reason? And why does anyone just assume that children are desired for selfless and absolutely altruistic reasons? And why the hell does anyone assume that a wanted child is a loved child?

What happened to welcoming children into this world? Neither of my two daughters was planned. Nor were they avoided. They came at their own time. And were welcomed. We didn't want them, need them, desire them for whatever reason or purpose. We welcomed them.

They were not part of any master plan. They can't fulfill our expectations or disappoint us. They weren't imagined in advance. They just were. They weren't wanted, they just came to us.

What child is really wanted? How can anyone say to anyone "You were wanted"? How would the parents know who'd come to them in the first place?

And in the case of donor conception, I was most certainly not wanted. I was the compromise. The back-up plan.

A child was wanted, yes. To prove my social father's fertility. To continue the family name. To make them proud. Not to be loved for exactly who she was and is.

Some parents who really want a child will not love her and will make crappy parents.